Anxiety is back again

Just as i thought i was getting my life back on track "stupid ANXIETY" strikes back once again, i have had a busy two days and haven't really sat down, i have been taking lessons to get my bike license and today i passed, jumping up relief? NO! yesterday my bike decided to brake on me, gearbox problems "a small washer" and i said that sarcastically as that all it was, but anyway, i have been flat out all day yesterday to try get it fixed, but i ran out of time, i ended up working on it until 3.30 in the morning and i had to be up at 6.45am to head to the test centre, i had to drag my self out of bed, anyways i got there withe the biggest head ache in history, i sat in the waiting room, the room was filled with sunlight and i had summer clothes on, the instructor came and got me and talked over what he was going to do today and while i had my head ache, dropping in and out of concentration, the sun decided to take a small holiday, and the cloud/ heavy rain came, well there was me getting rather wet at this point, as we set out on the road it was horribly cold and wet, i was shaking like i don't know what, with an angry face inside my helmet, i just wanted to go home, 5 hours in total, i could feel the anxiety starting from the moment i woke up, i didn't think that it would affect me, i basically panicked from the moment i woke up.

I thought as i had a nice 3-4 weeks away from my "best friend" Anxiety that i was getting better, But again i was wrong, it has kicked my up the back side and now I'm on the floor.
I wish i could beat this, i wish so so much that my metal illness would go away and never come back.
Every time i try and work to a new goal Anxiety comes and robs me of it and it keeps me sitting in the corner,

The grounding technique isn't working as i have grounded that much i think i am apart of the bloody ground, tips are no longer working and it feels like my body is shot! my Anxiety medication to be honest i think is false hope, a synthetic nothing,
i know that its me that can only truly help but even that isn't working, i so really want my life back.
I wonder if EBay sell a "new life"? i just want me back! the old me, the out going hard working me.

thanks for reading my days of hope that turns into full blown body manic, i just needed some one to talk to.