Relaxing is a luxury!..

Good old Relaxing, taking it easy just doing nothings well i have forgot what that is like? i have forgot how to relax, i spend most of my days just living a a fast pace, if its not on the inside the majority of it is moving at a fast pace inside, some days i will consist of 300miles of pacing up and down my house,

the lights go out and everyone gets sleepy but me? I'm ready to wake up, my body mysteriously finds some energy? I'm sure it has some sort of a reserve tank that activates when it knows I'm about to hit the hay!?
i start to search for something to do as i know its going to be a long nite, i turn to a novel that i am writing, i sit at my small desk, old in fact,with marks along the edges and front, names are inscribed on the desk, i saw it at a jumble sale at a school one day and wanted it. a small lamp shines down in a circle of light that is just enough for me to see,
the house is quiet, the hum of the fish tank is sounding its soft hum from room to room, the sound of my dogs sleeping keeps the silence occupied,

i here the odd car travel past, 2.20am, the tyres as they rest on the surface of the road make that familiar noise which is a comfort that I'm not alone in the night,

4 am, the sky is starting to present a blue tint to the darkness, a sign that the new day is coming, the uplift through out the day pushes the energy of life up that bit more than it was yesterday, the birds start to wake, flock by flock, louder and louder they chirp and sing, my eyes are starting to role my lips feel weak,the lack of energy is hitting me, the reassurance of the arrival of the new day has allowed my energy levels to deplete, the fear go to sleep, the level of reassurance has been met,

relax, my head is on the pillow, but it does not sink, tossing from cheek to cheek, no bloody sleep, the day has started in the home where i live, so there is no chance that i will relax

the end....