Hello guys, hope your all OK? its been a while since i have sat down with the laptop and done some blogging.

Well what can i say? my head is starting to go AWOL again, i think its because the winter is coming? i think i have developed the condition called SAD "seasonal anxiety disorder a fear of winter :(
to justify my happiness to my depression is at no option, i feel really down at the moment but no one knows it as they cant see it in my face, but when i look in the mirror i can tell,

my eating is gone way out the window, my body can't tolerate bloody anything, i have to watch what i eat as it makes me feel like crap, Wheat!!!! Milk!!!! Cheese!!! and Chocolate!!! and anything Dairy so basically i cant eat anything, its driving me mad as i want to eat what my family eats what everyone else eats!

My mood is edgy but in a crazy way, its rage that's trapped inside, that is boiling inside but on the outside you cant tell, my bi-polar is up and down, one day I'm OK the next I'm a mute just very quiet and dull then the next I'm at i cant be bothered attitude, i just wish that i can be a normal person that doesn't change moods like the weather,

My interests and Hobbies are inactive? "where the hell are they? I'm a 30yr old man who used to like getting oily with bikes and cars and even boats! but i sit at home just watching a film o just staring into space? i wish i could get back into it! My OCD is driving me crazy? crazy as in when a child is kicking your chair when your on a long flight constantly! i would like to know how my brain can think it can tell me stupid things involving my ocd! like no no you cant do that a its to yuk to touch or i cant do that you have no interest? if my brain? me? turned to hobbies maybe it would distract me from my ocd? my depression my bi-polar my anxiety even my ptsd? its strange to me why my mind doesn't choose the distraction as that would be the better idea instead of making me go through crap all the time.

Blogger :) my little place that i can come to! its like a wall that listens? i can get it all out on what ever is going on in my head on  what ever day i blog, i shall see you again in a day or two to update this conversation.

thanks for reading :)