A Feeling of doubt

I doubt my self at least 50 times a day? i wonder if i am good enough for me? my self?
I look at others while I'm surrounded by friends, wondering what they are thinking, wondering if there normal inside there small but vast minds? 
I see the traffic at a stand still with people inside there metal boxes, trapped in frustration a road that is blocked by other metal boxes, at the very front is the problem that is the cause of the jam. 

i wonder if i will get better and remove the problem in front of the jam, the jam that is my problems. i conversate with my self with questions going back and forth, some pointless but some that have meaning, i go in and out of conversation on the out side to the inside, back and forth wasting my time, the time that i have been given, 

Am i a pointless excuse of a human being that walks the earth, thinking of pointless thoughts and acting upon them in a silly way, a way that my body reacts to, puts me through, some times i wonder why i am i here, what i need to do but the thought comes to mind that i am here to suffer mentally, a challenge to survive.

my head is a complex system that is designed to put me through hell, every  day of the week, torment and pain, tears and grief, i carry round a broken brain, a brain that is dis functional to life, from my self, crazy comes to mind, but other minds say that I'm not crazy but how can a normal mind think that I'm not crazy, i think that is a lie, a lie tailored to make me feel and think that I'm normal, fictional thoughts that seem real, a crazy realm that mocks me, mimics me and makes fun of me, a bully comes to mind.

the end.